Dear Me - the one who survived the storm,

I see you. Not the way the world saw you, overwhelmed, frantic, angry, misunderstood-but the way I see you now:

Broken open. Motherless. Lost in a grief so big it swallowed your breath. Trying to carry everything and everyone when you could barely lift your own head. You weren’t crazy. You weren’t cruel. You weren’t wrong. You were hurting.

Hurting so deeply that the pain stole your voice, your patience, your clarity, and your ability to show love the way you wanted to. I forgive you. I forgive you for the things you said out of heartbreak. I forgive you for the moments where the grief spoke louder than your heart. I forgive you for not knowing how to hold the world together when your world had just collapsed. You didn’t fail anyone. You didn’t stop loving anyone. You didn’t push your sister away. You just didn’t know how to exist without your mother - and that confusion came out sideways because you were drowning. You did the best you could with the pain you had.

And I’m proud of you. Because you survived that version of grief. You survived the silence. You survived the loneliness. You survived the year that broke you open so something better could come through.

Thank you for keeping me alive long enough to become who I am today. Thank you for showing me where the cracks were so I could grow stronger in the right places. Thank you for loving even when you were too hurt to show it clearly.

I release you now.

You don’t have to fight anymore. You don’t have to explain yourself anymore. You don’t have to carry the guilt of grief anymore. I’ve got it from here. And I’m walking forward with love -for you, for Crystal, and for the woman I’m finally becoming.

With softness, with steadiness, with forgiveness, and with light, -Me, now.

The one who knows her worth.

The one who leads with love.

The one who’s ready to begin again.